


The Sorrow

by fucc (leafduds)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crack, Fairly Odd Parents, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, NSFW, Other, Pee, crack!fic, jungle gym, mentions of frozen piss on a penis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-06 12:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4222263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leafduds/pseuds/fucc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sorrow :(</p><p>Crack fic written at 1 am by four teenagers. Good luck.</p><p>shitfics are fucking glorious so here you go I hope you hated this SIN as much as I did</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WE HAVE A FRIEND MAKING A SHIT ANIMATION ON FLIP NOTE FOR THE FIC

[AUDIO (PODFIC) FUCKING HILARIOUS PLEASE LISTEN WITH HEADPHONES](https://soundcloud.com/rainbowginger/the-2orrow)

I am sollux captor I have been in space for a year now that drop of pee in my pants is frozen on my penis , it hurts my girlfriend with a horrible and sad or dead expression looks as if she got hit with a bat several times and I sit there wishing I went with them my girlfriend kind of grunts and dies in the distance I have a sharp pain in my stomach and , it is getting worse every time I breath in later that day I hear that GaMzEe has gone into a coma after passing out on karkat's sofa at midnight and ERIDAN was in the desert looking for the seven city's of gold soon to die and I float around and drool for what feels like hours thinking about a French fry I stepped on while I left my friends behind and quit life forever I hope every day that they will come for me every day I wish that they will come to say hi or get the frozen pee of my penis I slightly try to sleep as a astroid taps my head thinking it was karkat I cry for days thinking it was him I wish I had some honey to soften the pain but I realize I'm all alone forever no people to talk to or even have a slight eye contact with I lay and fall into a deep sleep  

Your name is Sollux captor, and the eridan is coming, he is coming so fast you can't even comprehend his speed. You want to be like Tavros so you try to fly away. You see eridan coming on all fours straight towards you.

You don't know what to do. You break off a piece of frozen pee from your rock hard penis and you stab eridan in the eye. He screams "the Babadook is coming" then he flies into the sun. You rip off Aradia's foot and you try to wear it like a shoe but vriska takes it away from you and runs away. You are very sad that you lost the foot. You get a message from the karkat and you feel the sudden urge to shake Aradia's corpse violently. Karkat comes out of the computer and steals Aradia's remaining foot. You scream no but he crawls back into the computer and now you have blood all over your screen. You cry, because you realize he stole your feet too.

Your name is Sollux captor and jake English Is gay. Peanuts caramel put that in your mouth. Inhale the peanuts. And die because your jake English. Sollux heroically whacked jake English with gamzee's juggling club. The. Karkat came and spat on all of them. Then everyone showed up and gamzee screwed them all, including me, gamzee x everyone was canon. Tavros climbs to the top of the roof then gets pushed off, breaking both his arms. I come in with a shotgun and shoot everyone. GAM. Karkat runs over to the jungle gym and tries to climb to the top but falls off, I laugh at him. He cries, with his last breath Tavros licks gamzee until death. Tavros and I climb to the jungle gym and Tavros ends up like karkat. Tavros fell because he didn't have any legs.Dirk and jake made out in the bathroom and I watched them for 4 hours.

Dirk and jake thought it would be a good idea to make out on the jungle gym. Tavros was climbing when he saw the wild jape and dirk and he screamed and fell of the jungle gym. I tried to get to the top of the jungle gym to push them off. Karkat karkatted all the way to the top and he grabbed jape and ripped his foot off. Dirk was furious so he pushed karkat off. Karkat VRiska and I climbed to the top and watched as 6842 tavroses fell from the sky like rain. Rose was already on top of the jungle gym and she was trying not to get hit by the Tavros rain. Doc scratch scratched me in the arm. We all gathered around the jape and dirk as they made out. Kanaya came and stopped jape and dirk. That was a fun day.

Karkat is in the hospital getting a cast gamzee is getting a cast too and they crying and vriska walked in and laughed at them and they crying even harder and then vriska laughed harder and vriska told Karkat and gamzee the she killed tavros they did not know sollux walks in there hospital room with the shotgun and shot the seeling over and over again a gamzee yelled stop Karkat yelled what are you doing vriska yelled at sollux to leave the room and go find tavros sollux said I saw you push tavros of the building 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it happ eened.... again  
> iam so sosorry

Your name is Sollux captor, and Tavros ate all your honey. I pick up a shotgun and shoot him in the head. He flew back and a wheel from his four wheeled device hit you in the face. You shot "inthide thith very box ith thomething tho thecret..." You are suddenly interrupted by the sound of "Darude, Sandstorm" GamZee falls through the roof and crushes karkat. Karkat's head pops off and turns off the stereo. You hear a "WWEWWEH" from the basement.

You are now running for your life. You see mituna face down I the mud. You don't do anything, because this is a normal sight. You don't notice he is dead. You smell something foul but it's probably nothing, you keep running. Lil'Hal falls from the sky and he knocks me over. You look up and you see Jane peeing on a fire hydrant. Roxy is passed out in the sewage drain next to her. You see Tavros with a broken leg and a missing arm, you suspect VRISKA has been here.

As you get closer you recognize nepeta's claw marks on the body. She pounces on you. Equius pounces nepeta and says "no nepeta, off." She then proceeds to get off you and equius rapidly apologizes. He pats her shoulder and her arm falls off. Officer karkat arrests equius for his actions. You hear something in the bushes, nepeta's horns perk up as a large dog that can be identified as jade Harley comes out of the bushes and chases her.

In the bush next to that one you see dirk and jake. Rose is not at all disturbed by the sight. Dave fist bumps dirk and finds that he is, crying. He can't find his Blakey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it happened again


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANY AND ALL ART MADE SHIT-TASTIC LIKE CALIBORN THANKS TO MLPBONGHITS666'S INSPIRATION 
> 
> NONE OF THIS IS MY LEGIT STYLE I DONT NKNOW WHAT WE WERE DOING  
> I  
> AM SO  
> SORRY  
> no im ntot

Your name Sollux captor, and John Egbert is stalking you. He came into your bedroom last night and said "I have been searching for you Sollux captor". I pretended not to hear him but John pulled out the hammer. I gabbed my shotgun and in the distance I saw Tavros fall off the jungle gym. Sollux shoots johns hammer but the hammer deflects the bullets and they hit Tavros. Gamzee comes out of the ground and pulled Tavros into the depths.

Dirk and jake were trying to be quiet when were making out in the bathroom but they were failing. Jane walked into the bathroom because she was curious about the noises she was hearing and she saw dirk a jake and she started sobbing. eridan's head pops out of the sink, he was trying to get a piece of the action. I shoot him. Eridan was still alive. He licks jane's foot and she screams. In fear Jane runs into my room and takes johns hammer. I lick her face. Jane, in fear, collapses on the floor. Gamzee pops out of the ground covered in tavros's blood. He grabs Jane but she gets away because she bonks gamZee on the head with the hammer.

Eridan throws a fit because he was alone for to long and he lets out a very loud "WWEWWEH". Tavros turns into a sprite and tells Eridan to look into the sun. Eridan looks at the sun, then goes blind. Rufioh screamed at gamZee and pulled all his hair out. GamZee pulls his horns out and stabs rufioh. Jack noir comes through the wall and stabs John. But he gets revived because he is God teir. Mitina is spying on dork and jake in the bathroom, he skates over to them but falls and dies.

You look outside and what appears to be the moon but it's actually doc scratches head. Dirk and jake see mituna's dead corpse.

You see The kanay-nay chopping down Aradia. Dave sees this and cries because there is red everywhere. You hear screams and realize dirk and Dave are fighting on the room. Cal accidentally falls into your fireplace and you "accidentally" light it. You hear bro scream is agony and sadness. Roxy and jade go on a journey to find who killed Tavros


	4. Chapter 4

Your name is Tavros nitram and I'm GOIN to survive for more than a minute this time!

 

Your you Sollux captor, and Tavros just died right Infront of you, nobody killed him, he just died. Gamzee pops out of the ground and smacks you.

Dave is flying overhead and it looks like he is going to go skydiving. He is getting his parachute on and John pushes him out of the plane, not realizing he does not have his parachute fully on, he falls into the pond next to you and scares feferi. In the distance, bro dies.

Somewhere in another universe, Dave is celebrating.

Flashback to this universe, Tavros is dead, and you don't know what to do. You get mad at gamZee for some reason and you shoot him with your shotgun. Your very stressed, so you go to the showers and masturbate to the fairy odd parents theme song. John walks in and sees you masturbating.

Karkat walks up behind John, john seems distressed so he asks what's wrong, John says "it's sollux's penis. Karkat says he sees it all the time and that he shouldn't be alarmed. John flips out even more and karkat locks him in the bathroom because he is a jerk. Karkat yells at himself in the mirror then cries in the corner. Out of anger he turns around and punches the mirror. Karkat's hand is now bleeding. Karkat crawls under the stall and starts masterbatingwith him. Leaving John alone. John beats the door violently but it's too late. It won't budge, he starts crying.karkat comes out of the stall and looks at John.

John pulls out the hammer. He tries to bust down the stall but he hits his foot and John gets sad. Feferi runs into the door and breaks her nose. John says "what was that!". You come out of the stall with no pants and says "you aren't the sheriff!". You rapidly punch the door. You start licking the door. J

ohn sprints directly into karkat and hugs him. Dave picks the lock and opens the door to the bathroom. John Faceplants and breaks his glasses. And Dave steals johns pants. He realizes they are soaked with pee.

John passes out on the floor, and you do too

 


End file.
